GOAL: THRIVE

How to be Hot Using the 3 "H"s

Anyone can be hot. Attractiveness has nothing to do with your natural physical appearance - like your "v" shaped body or the poutiness of your lips - and everything to do with how you care for yourself.

I summarize it with the 3 "H"s.

H-1 - Health

You maintain a good diet, and so have shiny skin and hair. You have a flush to your cheeks and body that shows life and vivacity. You have an exercise routine, and so your muscles are toned and strong. You have a good, relaxed energy that seems to give you a glow.

H-2 - Hygiene

You take showers regularly, so you are clean and don't smell. You brush your teeth regularly, so your breath doesn't stink. You wash your clothes regularly, so your clothes look and smell clean. You look nice and groomed with your hair combed, and you feel good wearing clean socks and underwear.

H-3 - Happiness

Probably the biggest factor of attractiveness among the three. If you're not healthy or hygienic, you'd still have a good chance at being attractive when you are mentally sound and at peace. Happiness doesn't mean smiling or laughing all the time, although that is often considered attractive too. It just means a quiet, healthy self-esteem, and the capacity to hold space for another human being that's neither desperate nor ingratiating. Happiness is an energy that feels good to be around. It is relaxed and humorous. Happy lovers are safe havens, which is attractive in any context.

Although attractiveness depends on the taste of the beholder, it's still quantifiable to some degree.

Try developing your 3 "H"s, and see what happens!

Exercise

SELF-DISCOVERY

  1. Which "H" do you think is your strongest?

  2. Which "H" is the toughest for you to do?

  3. Is there anyone you wanna be attractive for? ("Myself" is a valid answer)


Thought Experiment 🧪

VISUALIZATION

Your sister is the pretty one, and your brother is the good-looking one. You were never considered particularly “pretty” or “handsome.” It's not that anyone called you ugly, just that you were never complimented on your face or on your dress the way you hear other people are complimented.

You find this article about the 3 "H"s, and you think, “Huh, I guess it makes sense.” It sits on the backburner of your brain for a few weeks. You start to notice some things about yourself, how being overweight had been bad for your self-esteem for years. Different clothes don't look good on you. It's hard to find anything to wear besides t-shirts and jeans. You stop going out in public. You prefer to stay at home and play video games. You're quiet at school or work. You only really feel like opening up when you're with your friends, who, you had to admit, are kinda awkward and probably have self-esteem issues too.

Maybe you'll try something different now. Just to see what happens.

You read the other article about the Oneses. One crunch, one push up, and one squat, daily. You do it right before bed. First couple times, you forget to do it. And honestly, you felt kinda stupid just doing one of each. Like, “What kind of workout is this?”

But you keep at it. One crunch, one push up, and one squat, every night right before bed. You manage to do it for 2 weeks. Then you think, “Huh. I guess I CAN keep at something if I decide to.”

You check your weight, but that's just depressing. According to the recommended weight by height health charts, you're 30 lbs too heavy for your height. The Oneses weren't gonna do anything. But you also read the article about hunger and weightloss, which makes you think about what you eat every day.

Your current diet is 3 full meals a day, plus snacks. At least one of those 3 meals is takeout. You decide to reduce your meal intake to just 2 a day, and then limit your snacks to one packet a day, otherwise replacing it with fruit or veg, to which you're allowing yourself unlimited access.

And it is HARD.

You mess up here and there. An extra meal with family or a birthday party (would be rude to say no), snacks on particularly hard days at school or work. But you try to be conscious of the feeling of hunger, and reevaluating your relationship to food. In a month of keeping at it imperfectly, and overriding the now-frequent feeling of hunger with determination, you are thrilled to discover you lost 10 lbs.

You're still doing the Oneses. But they've gotten a lot easier, so now you do 10 crunches, 10 pushups, and 10 squats, every night before bed. And you swapped it to mornings instead, because you read somewhere that getting your blood pumping in the morning activates your circulatory system and wakes up your brain, giving you energy for the rest of the day.

Your clothes are loose now, so you go shopping for new clothes. And it feels great to try new outfits that look different and feel good to wear. It had been years since you last bought new clothes. As you head home with bags of new clothes, you feel like you've hit a major milestone in your journey.

You look better. You feel better. You know there's still a ways to go.

You keep going. đź‘Ł